In the morning, after the kids left for school, I immediately broke down and cried. I went out to see The Prince and hug on him for a while... and then I walked in the rain to see Paloma and Charlie who were extra sweet to me. When I returned, I went into Willow's stall and sat down on the straw and cried some more. I tried so hard to quiet my tears because maybe if I was quiet enough it would happen... I would hear her or see some sort of sign. I waited and waited... but nothing. I imagined the sky getting bright and looking up to see a rainbow. The clouds would clear, the sun would shine, and a beautiful rainbow would appear. How I wished I'd see a rainbow... what a beautiful sign that would be. So all day long, it continued to rain, and I kept looking for rainbows. I must have gone outside fifty times to look for a rainbow in the sky, but the sky remained gray. As darkness fell, I was so disappointed. But then it occurred to me that maybe I would dream about Willow. Maybe Willow would visit me in my dreams...
When I woke up, I was fine for a moment... but then it hit me. I remembered my sadness and realized that Willow was gone- and that I didn't have any dreams about her during the night... and I cried. I texted Martha, "The mornings are so hard. I wake up and cry when I realize she is gone."
So I pulled myself together, put on a pot of coffee, and got the kids off to school. When I returned to my bedroom, I picked up my phone and saw that I had missed Martha's return text: "Look at the sunrise. From where I am, every cloud has a rainbow edge." So I jumped up and ran to the window... only to find some pretty clouds behind the hills but nothing with rainbow edges. I was so upset that I'd missed it. But the clouds were so pretty and I thought I'd take a photo to show Martha what I was seeing. When I looked at the photo on my cell phone... this is what I saw:
It wasn't there before... I couldn't see it with my eyes... yet it somehow appeared in the photo. So I snapped again and again... and it kept appearing... a reflection of the heavens with a shape in the middle... the shape of a horse's head. And it was right over her pasture!
I kept snapping, and it kept evolving... but it was still there... I asked myself was it really a horse head or was it me just wanting it to be? But then I saw this...
The sun rays brighter now, and to the left of the horse head shape was what looked like a horse! Do you see it?? the ears, the eyes, the nose... the feet... My heart was racing... So I kept snapping...
And here I see what looks to me almost like a horse leaping toward the sun... could this be Willow's spirit? Something told me to go out to the barn... hurry, go out to the barn! So I did...
This is the first photo I took... the beautiful sunrays... but when I looked at my phone camera, I noticed the tiny white flare... right next to Willow's stall window!!! It was cold outside, and I wasn't wearing a coat. Satisfied with my miracle, heart still racing, I headed back toward the house. But something called to me... "Go to her stall..." And as I passed Michael on his way out to feed the other horses, I turned around, "I have to go to Willow's stall!" I cried... and I ran as fast as I could.
And this is what I saw... and the little white flare was there... right where the sign that reads "Faith" is hanging on her stall door... Then something in my heart said, "Open the door..."
When I opened the door, the sun beams were so bright and I felt their warmth. The hazy sun rays flooded her stall... And when I looked at the photo I had taken, I could see a rainbow flare like a halo all around the sun rays. I could still see the little white flare, but there was a pink glow around it now, and I knew it had to be Willow's spirit.. moving ever closer to the sun and resting in the exact spot where we found her late that last night. It has been so hard for me.. that memory of her there where she looked so uncomfortable. But suddenly it was so beautiful... and I could feel her there. And I knew for sure that this was my sign....
I snapped one last photo of the sun on my way back to the house. And look who followed me... on her way back up to Heaven. I now know beyond a shadow of a doubt that horses do go to Heaven... and that some lucky Angel will be riding on Willow until I am with her again. And that until then, she will be with me, in my heart and by my side for always. Thank you sweet Willow... thank you dear God.... Thank you for this sign.... this miracle... it was so so much better than any ordinary rainbow. ♥
