A Gift from Willow

First off, thank you again from the bottom of my heart for all of the beautiful emails, comments, posts, stories, poems, songs, prayers, flowers, donations to horse rescues in Willow's name, cards, and gifts.  I am so touched and have found much comfort in this outpouring of love for Willow and me. ♥  I especially love the emails and photos of horse rescues inspired by our story... (thank you)!  And I also want to mention that I have also found another horse that I am working on rescuing... but I cannot say any more at this time as it might put the other horses at this farm in jeopardy... it's a work in progress that I hope to share soon.  Prayers are always appreciated for this horse and all others who are being neglected and abused. ♥

So after crying for days, something in my heart told me to try to look for Willow's daughter Gabriella* once more.  She was the only one of Willow's four foals that none of us could find when we searched many months ago. Many people (including Nancy) have suggested that if at all possible, it would be lovely for me to have one of Willow's offspring; and Nancy said that Gabriella in particular was so very much like Willow. (*name changed for reasons to be revealed later).

When I searched for Gabriella last year, I could only find one sales listing for her.  She was listed for sale on the site of a Friesian breeder in Texas.  When I called them,  they said she had been sold but they wouldn't give me any more information.  They said they sold her because they had failed at breeding her (that she was infertile).  So I googled and googled some more... and I actually found another ad for her on a different site!  I was so happy to see that she might actually be for sale right now...  but when I called the number listed on the site, the message said the owner was out of the country and to email her (which I did).  The page I found looked like a basic information page on Gabriella... so to make sure, I clicked on "Friesians for sale."  That page had many listings, and about half of them were marked as "sold".  I did not, however, see Gabriella listed on the page at all.  It was strange.... she had a page on the site (including a sales price), but wasn't listed on the sales page as "for sale" or "sold".  So I looked again... .this time when I looked I noticed that each horse listed seemed to be in a different state... CA, NY, TX, etc.  While trying to figure out why, I noticed the name of one of the horses listed for sale... her name was Mirabella.  I guess it stuck out to me for a few reasons... mainly that I love the name... and it was actually on my final list of names for Willow.  Mirabella means "Beauty" which is mostly what I called Willow when we were together...   But I think in the end, I thought Mirabella was too close to my business name (Florabella), and I thought Willow was a better fit for my sweet girl.  In any case, right under Mirabella's name was her state... Tennessee.  And she was the only horse listed in TN...  The ad said she was a filly... just 10 months old, and listed the contact information.  I looked at the tiny photo and wondered what Willow must have looked like as a filly... and then I started to cry.  

When I called, a kind woman named Alise answered the phone.  I quickly explained that I had seen Mirabella's ad on this other site but that I was actually interested in Gabriella, and I asked her if she knew when the other breeder would be back in the country.  She explained that the woman was moving out of the country and had been listing Friesians for other breeders... and that likely, Gabriella had already been sold.  (I later got an email from the woman explaining that Gabriella had indeed been sold and that the listing was related to the original listing I'd found.).  Alise then suggested I take a look at Mirabella, but I quickly explained that I wasn't looking for just any horse.. and certainly not a filly.  I was looking for Willow's daughter. And not thirty seconds later, I was in tears telling Alise my whole story.  She listened, and we talked for a long while...  she took a look at my blog and told me that she thought Mirabella looked like Willow.   Then I looked at the photos of Mirabella on her site, and I have to say... I agree.  She does look like Willow...  and from what Alise told me, she was sweet and gentle like Willow too.  Maybe we should go out to see Mirabella?  No, that's crazy... and it's too soon.. it's too soon....  But I told Alise I would mention it to Martha and Michael.   I texted Martha the link... "Martha, look what I found when I was searching for Gabriella... isn't she sweet?  It's just too soon, but it's kinda strange how I found her... and by the way, there are no Friesians listed for sale in Tennessee right now if you search.  I only found her because I was looking for Gabriella."

Martha's response:

"I know it's too soon, but I like the way you are thinking about the future.  And I do like what this baby represents... new life, health, restoration, and rebirth.  It's a beautiful thing.  Willow is experiencing all of that in Heaven right now and probably wanted you to see a piece of that here on earth.  Don't feel bad for finding her... think of it as one more gift from God to you."

I was surprised, but of course, I loved what Martha wrote...  and I started to think that maybe, just maybe, we should really go and see Mirabella.  That maybe Willow led me to her... and that she would want me to have this gift.  So I mentioned it to Michael, and again I was surprised.  He wanted to go see her.

The next morning I asked Martha if she wanted to go with us to see Mirabella.  It was a 2 1/2 hour drive.   She seemed shocked that we were going... she told me we were crazy to get a filly.  "But what about that text you sent me??  You know, about this being a gift from God... and Willow?"  And then she explained that just finding her and seeing her photos was what she meant by that...  that I was meant to see how Willow looked in Heaven... and that should comfort me.  So we discussed the pros and cons of raising a young horse... and by the time I got off the phone, I was completely talked out of it.

As I was explaining it all to Michael, I went to close the web page with Mirabella's listing.  But when I looked, I noticed the name of Mirabella's dam was highlighted.  Out of curiosity, I clicked on it.  I wanted to see if Mirabella's mother looked like Willow, and thought I'd take a glance at her photos. When I clicked, though, it didn't take me to photos... It took me to her Friesian Pedigree card and her family tree.  Immediately, one tiny name practically jumped off the screen at me...

"Michael, oh my gosh, help me find Willow's paperwork... "  I frantically fumbled through my files....  I found the file, pulled out Willow's pedigree card, and held it up to the computer screen.   "Oh my.... oh my gosh..... Michael... They have the same grandfather! They are first cousins... Mirabella is Willow's baby cousin!!!"  And the tears streamed down my face...

And Michael looked at me with a smile... "Looks like someone is getting a new horse this weekend."

And with Martha's blessing, we packed up the kids and took a roadtrip to see this precious little filly.  And she was every bit as sweet and gentle as Alise said she would be.  Within our first few minutes together, she lowered her head to my chest... just as Willow did when we first met. And instantly, I fell in love with her.  And I do believe, it was meant to be...

And then when we got home, we noticed the first signs of spring in our yard (one week early).  The flowering plum tree by the barn had blossomed while we were with Mirabella earlier that day. It was another sign...  I had so wanted for Willow to live to see spring with me, and now I know in my heart that Willow will be watching over us from Heaven and happy to see me laughing and playing with this beautiful new filly, so full of life and new hope...  And I will always believe in my heart that Mirabella is Willow's gift to me... yes, one of her many many gifts to me.  Thank you, my beauty... thank you for Mirabella, and thank you for spring... ♥


Princess Mirabella is being being delivered tomorrow...

 (thank you to Alise for taking and sharing this photo...)

Photos from Willow's Past ♥

This week I was so lucky to receive two packages in the mail... one from Nancy (Willow's first owner), and one from her friend Laura who met Nancy when she bought Willow (Leona) at the Black Horse Valley Ranch one magical summer back in 1998.  Both Nancy and Laura had flown all the way to California to choose and purchase their first Friesians.  I've heard about that summer from both of them and imagine it to have been glorious and magical... so imagine my surprise when I opened both packages to find VHS tapes of the Keuring (Friesian show) from that trip!  I've heard that Nancy knew she wanted Willow (Leona) even before the show.  She was told that if she purchased her before the Keuring, she could have her for $25,000 but if she did as well as she was expected to at the Keuring that her price would double.  Nancy bought her, and at the Keuring the very next day, Leona was a star...  She earned her First Premium and was designated a "Ster" Friesian.  One of the handlers from Holland was so taken with her, that he tried to purchase her from Nancy on the spot.  Of course Nancy wouldn't part with her...  Here are some beautiful photos that Nancy was so sweet to send me, and I hope to get all four VHS tapes transfered to DVD so I can see my sweet girl shine... ♥

Isn't she amazing?  This is the first time I've seen Willow under saddle!  And I love her mane braided like this...  (Photo by Susan McAdoo)
 

Canter... Look at her!

And I can't believe this one!! This is Willow (Leona) with her filly!! This one, in particular, made me cry!! (Photo by Dana Adam)

These photos are so precious to me... I am forever grateful to Nancy, Laura, Dana, and Hayley for sharing photos from Willow's past with me.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ♥ 

More from Willow's past

What a wonderful suprise!  I received an email and some photos from a girl named Hayley who worked at Leah's farm for the three months Willow was there...

Hello there! 

I have been wanting to get in contact with you and say how truly happy I am that this sweet sweet mare has gotten such a great home. My name is Hayley Smith, and I hate that I never got the opportunity to meet you. I work for Mark and Leah, and was with Willow (MG to me :) ) the entire time. 

Immediately had such a connection with this sweet horse. I don't think I have ever actually seen such emotion displayed through a horse. Even though you can tell she is struggling, she is truly a warrior. Her eyes speak such sorrow, yet hope at the same time. The days that she was perked up, and nickering at me walking down the aisleway, made it all worth it. I used to spend such lengthy periods of times just watching her on days like this. Especially with her adorable fuzzy ears that just stay pricked forward, longing for attention.   

Personally, I hadn't ever experienced a horse with the medical problem that she has, and it tore me up having to watch her. I always did my best trying to comfort her through it, even if all I could do was try soothing words at her stall gate....

 Photo 1: I spent one day at work researching how to do this braid because me & Leah LOVED the appearance of it, however didn't know anything about where to start. I brought a bucket and flipped it upside down while I worked on sweet Willow. She was the most patient horse and I think I had to try at least 5 or 6 times before getting it right. She would just look at me, as though she understood what I was doing and truly appreciated it. The heart on that horse can just leap out in my text as I type. I think she will always have a piece of my heart, just the same as every other horse from that ranch. 

 Photo 2:She used to always spend her time standing on the hill. Gazing out at the other horses. She never had a buddy that she really clung to out in the field, which broke my heart. Such a lonely soul. There was one day however, that she ran up this hill as Leah & Mark turned her out. And of course, I MISSED IT! I knew in that moment though, deep down inside, that she was going to be okay. That God was going to bless her and give her everything she deserved.

You are the answer to so many prayers that I sent up for these sweet horses. Just seeing the love and affection you have through your blog shows that all of my work was well worth it. Everyday in the heat, and the cold. I wish I could really show my happiness through this email. So many emotions are brought to life just thinking of the 3  months I was lucky enough to try and help. I know that all the rest of the horses are going to be okay because of great people such as yourself for proving that the world can always be a better place.

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Hayley

I have been so lucky to hear from so many people who have known and loved my sweet Willow.  Not even knowing her name or age when I bought her... or how sick she really was... it has been amazing to hear from people who knew her as Leona, and it's just as special to hear from sweet Hayley who clearly sees the same soulful, loving horse that I do.  Thank you so much, Hayley... and thank you for loving and caring for Willow as I know you and Leah did.  Please come visit her soon.   You can teach me how to make those braids, and  I know Willow would love to see you...

Discouraged...

Like everyone else, I have loved and I have lost.  But it seems that the times I have loved the hardest- the times that I loved without reservation- were the times that I always lost.  And that has scared me. I think I am almost afraid to fully love... to give 100% of myself.  It's so risky, and it makes me too vulnerable.  So I protect myself by holding back... or by building a wall around my heart... or by burying myself in my work to distract me from any true depth of feeling.

How fast and hard I have fallen in love with Willow has surprised me.  I felt almost an instant connection with her... I feel like I know her soul and her heart.  She is the quiet and the gentle that I need.  And when I am with her, everything else fades away.  She makes me want to be better... more loving, more patient, more trusting, less fearful.... more faithful.  I have believed Martha when she has told me that Willow will get better... that she will be whole and healthy again one day. That she will feel better in the spring, and that I will start riding her in the summer...    I dream of putting blossoms in her mane and riding her on the trails along the river on sunny days...

Last night I spoke with someone who really knows Friesians... I was so happy to learn that she was able to rescue one of the others that was abandoned with Willow.  She told me that she visited that awful place about a year ago.  She said there were 70 horses there, and that there was one person left behind to try to care for them.  She, however, wasn't doing a good job.  The horses were fighting and breeding in the fields... they were thin and dirty.  There wasn't enough clean water... the situation was bad even back then.  She remembered seeing Willow there.  I think she told me what she did in hopes of protecting me somehow...  but she told me that she doubted that Willow would ever get her muscle back... that she had lost her stifles and would likely never be sound enough for me to ride again.  And she also told me that most Friesians don't live very long lives... even the healthy ones don't.  Was she trying to warn me that Willow didn't have much longer to live?  

And then I felt it.  I actually felt my heart starting to close up...   I am so so afraid of losing her.  Was I so caught up in all of this that I haven't yet realized that I could lose her?  Or that I will lose her one day... ? 

I recognize that I feel the desperate need to protect myself...  and I don't like it.

Willow's choking and swallowing problems seem to have gotten worse since we started her on the EPM medicine, and I have been hearing more and more stories of horses that haven't survived EPM... especially when they have had it as long as Willow has likely been affected.  The starvation, the EPM, and the paralysis that causes the choking... Is it just too much?  I don't know...  I don't know.  But I know I love her...

I am just feeling so discouraged.  Afraid... and so so sad... 

The most amazing gift...♥

After an emotional afternoon, I opened my email to find the most amazing gift... photos of Willow from long ago!  Dana Adams had promised to find some for me, but I hadn't expected them this soon...  and I certainly wasn't prepared for how emotional I would be... or how magnificent she really was.... 

Dana took this at one of her Keurings (shows).   From what I hear, she was the star of the show...  and the most beautiful by far.  To see her this way... round and healthy... gives me such hope. Though now she is a mere shell of what she once was, I still see the same beauty in her...  Thank you so much, Dana!  I was actually on the phone with Martha when I opened the email and saw this photo.  I lost my breath, and I couldn't speak.  I smiled and cried at the same time... you know that kind of cry that almost hurts because you are smiling so big.  I  forwarded the photo to Martha and told her to check her email.  And for the 2nd time today, I made Martha cry...

Martha cried...

While getting ready to go visit Willow, I got a call from Martha... "Shana, she's choking.  I'm out in the pasture with her...".  So I jumped in the car and headed out there.  My mind and heart were heavy already.... as I had just heard from Nancy (one of Willow's previous owners).  I didn't want Nancy to hear of Willow's EPM diagnosis elsewhere so I had written to inform her.  Upon hearing the news, she wrote back:

"That is what Aileen died of... she was the other mare that was with Leona, Stryder and Veritas. .... Thank God, you have her and are giving her such wonderful care...I just know this will be another hurdle, but your love, prayers and wonderful care will bring her through this. .... I just KNOW Willow is going to be fine...she has endured to much and now her guardian angel has saved her and she will be with you for a good long time. I do thank you for letting me know...God Bless you..."

Aileen?  Another mare?  EPM?  Died?  

Nancy shared the entire story she had heard from her old vet... and then Nancy told me more.   I just pray that God heals Nancy's broken heart.  None of this is her fault...

When I got to Martha's farm, I found her with Willow in her pasture.  She had a damp, white towel on her arm and she was working on Willow's throat...  trying to help her swallow the food she was choking on.  I always have to  remind myself that horses can still breathe when they are choking, and I have to try to make myself calm down because I still get so upset to see Willow struggling.  As Martha worked, I attempted to comfort Willow by rubbing her and telling her softly how much I love her. As she struggled, and coughed grass colored saliva, Martha carefully took the white towel from her right arm and sweetly wiped Willow's nose and mouth.  This touched me so much.  She did this in the same loving way you would wipe your fever stricken child's forehead...  I would have told Martha how much that meant to me (and how it will likely always stay with me) if I could have spoken without crying.  I was trying so hard not to cry for Willow...

Willow & Martha

Willow started feeling better sooner than normal.  I hope that her episodes continue that trend.  But we stayed with her for a while longer, and I told Martha about my conversation with Nancy.  I was still in shock myself, but when Martha heard there had been another starving mare with Willow abandoned at that old farm;  that sadly, she didn't make it... that she had EPM and that she had died before the horses were rescued, Martha looked up at me.  And she cried.

Martha is so strong, and I know it takes a lot to make her cry.  I think she was crying for Willow.  The other mare, Aileen, had probably been Willow's mate.  Martha told me that this may have had a profound impact on Willow...  and that because Willow couldn't speak, who knows the pain and sickness that manifested...  Then I remembered something Martha had told me weeks ago... "We are not bodies with souls.... We are souls with bodies.  Long ago, before Adam and Eve, I believe animals could speak to people...  but then their voices were taken away.  I believe animals go to heaven and that they have souls.  I believe Willow has something to say, and you need to learn to hear her..."   

How I wish I could hear her....

More from Willow's Past

Today I heard from Dana Adams... yet another person who knew Willow long ago.... her words brought me to tears:

"Shana, Leona (Willow) is a one of a kind....her beauty knows no bounds. I was horrified, heartsick, and angry beyond words when Nancy (I call her "Mom" even though she isn't really my mother she has treated me way better than the real thing) told me about the horses. I have worked with her and all her horses since she had Paints. Each and every horse to ever set foot on that farm was loved unconditionally. Leona was always especially so....she and Nanco were always my favorite photo subjects. I am so so happy she has you for a mom now, I just don't understand how anyone could hurt any of them (or really what kind of sick person hurts any animal really) but they especially have always been such sweet souls. And yes I meant what I said that woman had better never let me find her, she better pray the authorities find her first because I won't be so kind.

Shana thank you for taking care of her. I haven't had the courage to look at your site, my friend who also knew her, looked at it and told me about the details and what you had done for her. She didn't think I should see the photos of her quite yet either, but I will go through my old photos and find what I can for you. I did see her photo when I went to your FB page I did not click on her shot of the two of you fully, though I did see it. The photo of you two together brought tears to my eyes. But that is the beautiful face and soulful eye I always loved! The one of you hugging her neck is gorgeous as well. I would know that head, eye and ear anywhere!

Again Thanks so much! God Bless and Merry Christmas!
PS...she LOVES peppermints.... "

I love to hear that others can see in her what I do... her sweetness, her beauty, her soulfulness...   and of course, I had already figured out that Willow loved peppermings (shhh... don't tell Martha)! ♥

A Story from Willow's past ♥

Another surprise today... I got a message from one of Nancy's friends (Laura). Laura was actually with Nancy when she purchased Willow (Leona C) from Black Horse Valley Ranch in California in 1998. Here is what she wrote to me:

Dear Shana,

When I met Willow in 1998 in CA, it was during the Keuring, or judging, time. She was so beautiful and sweet, also a bit of a diva, so proud. She was stunning in her Keuring, with her flowing mane and wonderful gaits, and she got the highest rating, 1st Premium Ster. We met her sire, Lukas 324, an especially sweet stallion. Nancy and I bonded that weekend, and have been best friends ever since, even though we live far apart. We exchange a lot of horse stories and one of my favorites is the one of Willow and the clicker training. Friesians, are very expressive and tend to use their feet, (pawing) a lot, when they want something. Nancy had a friend who was a big clicker training fan, and said she could get Willow to stop pawing when tied in the aisle way. Nancy, smiling to herself, said to go ahead and try. So the friend had some treats ready, and when Willow stopped pawing for a moment, clicked the clicker, said "Good girl" and treated her. This went on for a couple of times and the friend thought she was really "training" Willow. But Willow was training the friend!! She would paw, then pause, and get her treat! When the friend turned to leave, Willow pawed really hard, paused when the friend turned to look at her, like "Well, where's the treat? !! 

I hope this little story and the visual it can conjure up, gives you a little smile today. I'm so glad you have her and are giving her a chance. You're a beautiful person inside and out and your love will nurture beautiful Velvet Willow. I also hope your little girl is doing better today.

Laura 

Is that not the cutest story?  Well of course it made me smile, and laugh, and cry... because it is so her.  She still paws at the ground like that (though mostly out of frustration when she is struggling to swallow or choking)...  but it helps so much to have that visual.  Sweet Laura also offered to send me a VHS tape of Leona at one of her Keuring shows!  I will have it made into a DVD so Nancy, Laura and I can all have a copy... I can't wait!!   (Thank you Laura!) ♥

A Package from Nancy

I knew it was coming, but I was still so happy to see the package from Nancy in my mailbox.  Expecting only a laminated registration paper, I was excited to find a beautiful horse calender and a handwritten three page letter along with Willow's pedigree.  I cried as I read her heartfelt words..."Dear, dear Shana... How I think God for you. I am so happy Leona / Willow has such a wonderful loving home now....."  She went on to explain how she is "so overwhelmed with grief at that this dear animal has had to endure" that she cannot stop crying and can't bear to even look at my blog...    Her daughter will be keeping up on the blog until Willow looks much better so Nancy can endure seeing her photos.  Even more proof that Willow was loved very much for at least 10 years of her life. Aside from the past three months when she being cared for by Leah, the 4 years before that are a mystery.  And honestly, I don't think I even want to know what happened to her and exactly how long she was left with a heard of other horses, starving and wasting away...   it really is heart breaking to imagine.

Willow's pedigree from the Netherlands was so fun to look at.  Since it was not written in English, I couldn't read all the words; but it was fun to look at the names and designations in her ancestry...  her Sire (father) is Lukas, and her Dam (mother) is Meike.   I like her Dam's Dam's name (her grandma lol)... "Fannie" and her great grandmother's name was "Happy". ♥   I don't know much about showing Friesians or anything about their Keurings (show tests) but Willow is designated "Ster" which means "Star" and has a 1e premie and a 2e premie (I think those are both very good).  Nancy told me she was the star of all the shows...  and in her letter, she offered to send me photos of her!  I really can't wait to see those.  To see a healthy, nourished Willow would be so good for me- I"d have an image to hold on to when I imagine her once she's healed.  I also know Willow's birthday.. it's April 20th. ♥

Thank you, sweet Nancy... not only for the beautiful letter and her pedigree... but thank you for loving Willow.  I look forward to the day you come to visit her, and I know she will be so happy to see you. ♥

Don't mess with her.

I have met so many loving, kind, beautiful people in the horse world... but I have been disappointed yet again. While out having a sweet visit with willow, I was told of a woman "big in the Friesian world" who was claiming it was well known in the Friesian community that Willow was a stolen horse. Of course, when I heard this, I went into panic mode.... I knew so very little of Willow's past. And although we trust and adore Leah and Mark, what if they had been lied to and the people who supposedly owned her had stolen her? We know they let her be neglected to the point of nearly starving to death, so could it be that they had stolen her and then lied to Leah and Mark? So I immediately called Leah. I was shaking and crying when I told her what I had just heard. She was so calm and assured me that she would find some way to prove that it wasn't the case. While waiting, I went and found the woman who said she had heard that Willow was stolen. She described many "red flags in the Friesian community" regarding how I came upon my new horse... I asked her who the woman with "connections" was and she pulled up their conversation on her cell phone. After reading the entire conversation, it was so obvious to me that these two women WERE the source of this new rumor. The main "red flag" it seemed was that "Mountain Girl" wasn't a legit Friesian name... and that her price of $5,000 was just WAY too low for a horse of her "Ster" designation. Well, as I explained to this nosy woman, "Mountain Girl" was the nickname Leah had for my horse... it wasn't her registered Friesian name. I also had to remind this woman that Willow was a VERY sick horse (and not a very young horse either)... and that many people wouldn't want her at any price given the thousands of dollars it would take to care for her (and that she likely would always be ill). By their conversation, I could tell that these two nosy, trouble making women had conjured up this whole thing and had convinced themselves that she must be a stolen horse. And then they proceeded to tell someone very close to me that she was!

After a while, I heard back from Leah. She was able to find out who Willow's first owner was (the one who sold her and the others to the people who neglected her). Her name is Nancy, and Leah called her to explain what was going on. Nancy cried when Leah described the state in which she found Willow and the other beautiful Friesians. Leah gave me her number, and I called her... Nancy was horrified and grief stricken. I was so grateful to talk to her as Willow was mostly a mystery to me. Aside from her having a cyst removed (under the care of Leah), a problem swallowing food & choking, a Friesian "Ster" brand of "F S" on her neck, and of course the fact that she had been neglected and abandoned to starve to death, I really knew NOTHING about her. Through her tears, Nancy told me that her name was Leona. She was born in California in 1995. And miraculously, Nancy still had her paperwork and would mail it to me. I assured Nancy that I was committed to loving and taking care of this sweet horse. Nancy was so sweet, so I told her that it was obvious Willow was so sweet because of her love. "No," answered Nancy, "... she was born that way. She is the sweetest horse in the world." Yes, she sure is.  And you know, maybe the Vulture story is right...  something good was born from this bad experience...  I got to talk to Nancy and learn more about Willow... what a gift...

I then went home and googled one of the women (the one "big" in the Friesian world)... turns out she is a Friesian breeder herself... well of course she doesn't like to see a Friesian sold for $5k.. even one who is sick and starved.  When I mentioned TK's name to Leah, she told me that this same woman actually contacted her about Willow. She posed as a potential buyer... Leah told her that she had gone to a loving home, and then TK wrote back demanding to know where this horse came from, etc. She totally harassed the very people that saved my horse's life!! What I don't get is why these women were investigating my horse (or trying to) when it is so clear that she is where she belongs... where she is being loved and completely cared for. She is under the care of Martha and her team, Dr. Hawthorne, Dr. Kimmons, and various others. She is being fed the best food for her and supplemented with vitamins and minerals. She is receiving numerous therapies, including Myofascial and Acupuncture. And mostly, she is being showered with love. Unless someone knew of a Friesian mare that was stolen, WHY would they cause me so much heart ache and trouble? Nothing better to do, ladies? How about praying for this sweet horse... or better yet, rescue a horse yourself as there are SO many that need rescuing. But leave MY horse alone.  Don't go causing trouble where there isn't any. I have enough heartache already.

Vultures

As Martha and I chatted while spending time with Willow in the outer pasture, I noticed some large dark birds in the old barren tree branches above us.  As they came and went, I noticed that these were the same birds that were circling overhead as I wrote in my journal on the front barn steps waiting for Willow to arrive that first day.  I mentioned it to Martha and told her how there must have been 20 or 30 of them just circling overhead just moments before their trailer arrived. In my mind I came up with the pretty thought that they were eagles or hawks, but Martha said, "Vultures... they are vultures."   "Ohhhh..." I said, somewhat disappointed (picturing nasty vultures eating dead animals).  "No, that's good, Shana... vultures are good."  And Martha proceeded to tell me how the vulture symbolizes hope... death and rebirth.  Then she read from her cell phone about the vulture and what it means:

The vulture is a reminder that we must shed past negative thoughts before we can proceed with the birth of new ideas. ... Life is lived in stages and new ideas are often born out of old experiences....

The preoccupation of past sorrowful events can lead to a period of negativity and mental turmoil. If allowed to escalate, the emotional injuries can inhibit your ability to nurture new, fertile ideas. It can also prevent you from allowing yourself to open up to people, thus leaving you suspicious of those who attempt to enter your lives. But out of negative experiences, you can learn to become wiser and more intellectually astute. This is the time to rethink your situation and allow the negative burdens of your past to become a source of self-empowerment....

"If something from your past is hindering you; you may feel sad. Be careful not to let the past affect current relationships. There may be lack of communication, and possible relationship troubles. However, always see the good in the bad, as this may be the time that can inhibit your ability to nurture new and fertile ideas...

The vulture can help teach you how to accomplish this through patience and vision. Vultures teach you how to soar without using much energy, how to ride the thermal winds instead of flapping. Go with the flow. Use your own energy powerfully and efficiently. The Vulture promises us that no matter how difficult things are at the moment, rescue and change are imminent."******


******(I searched and found that these excerpts came from or are based on "Animals Divine Tarot" by Lisa Hunt.  Martha assures me as God is the creator of animals and all living things, he put them here for us to learn from...  I will write more on Martha's amazing faith in a later post.)


As Martha read to me, we both couldn't help but look at each other in awe... so many parallels, and this advice is so fitting for me at this point in my life.  I need to let go and be at peace with a very sad experience from my past; but I also need to find a way to be empowered by it.  I need to have more faith and less fear... And I need to find my way toward finding  "patience and vision".  I need to, and Willow needs to... we both need to learn to trust again.  

"... Rescue and change are imminent."   I love that part. Perhaps this new perspective will help.

The Broken Fence

It's official... I have a new horse, and she is a rescue. A beautiful Friesian mare... she was neglected and abandoned. She was found starving and sick three months ago and has been cared for since then by some wonderful people... But she is still very thin and in poor condition. And she has a medical condition which makes it hard for her to put on weight. . She will be in rehab at my trainer's farm for two months until she comes to live with us. My husband and trainer picked her up this morning, and I took this on the way to the farm to welcome and settle her in. I was struck by the beauty of this broken fence and the vibrant leaves sprouting there - so much like this sweet, beautiful horse... from something broken can grow something beautiful. I am so looking forward to this journey....

 Leah told me how much she and Mark have loved this horse and their three months with her. They took very good care of her... she is thin now, but she was so much worse when they took her in. Because she is a Friesian and trained in Dressage, there were others that wanted to buy her; and Leah told me how happy she was that we decided to take her, because she knew that we wouldn't ask much of her. We only wanted to love her and do anything we could toward her recovery. Michael and Martha drove the trailer up to Springfield, and Michael took these photos of Leah and Mark saying goodbye to their "Mountain Girl"...

Mark & Leah Marie King... the lovely couple who cared for my horse for the first three months after she and the others were found abandoned and starving. I will always be thankful to them... they are true angels.

In her shipping boots walking to the trailer with Leah....

One last goodbye hug from Leah, and she's on her way to me. We will be good for each other- I just know it...

A little history..

Abandoned by the dressage trainer who had likely neglected her for many months, she was found in very poor condition. Emaciated, sick, hungry, and dirty... In desperate need of a temporary and safe home for her and 14 other horses, the Kentucky businessman who owned them learned of Leah Marie King, a  musician from Canada who had just purchased a large farm in northern Tennessee. Leah and her husband Mark took them in, cared for them, and loved them. It's been three months, and now they are trying to find these horses loving homes.
She looked thin in her photos, but nothing could prepare me for what I saw when we went to meet her. I had never seen a starved horse, and I guess I didn't even realize that she had been neglected. And she's black, so shadows don't always show so well in photographs. She was sunken in... her hips protruded out so much. She was so so skinny, and she lacked muscle. I just wasn't prepared for that... I was a bit shocked. I couldn't even lift my camera to photograph her. I was frozen, and as we heard her story, I cried. We spent some time with her and Leah and Mark. This mare was so so sweet, so quiet and gentle. Much smaller than Paloma, and she was so affectionate and kind. Despite the neglect and her condition, her mane and tail were beautiful. And her eyes were kind and bright - I'm quite sure because of Leah and Mark's evident love for her. At one point, I braided her long wavy mane, and she seemed to love being groomed. At the end of our visit, as I said goodbye to her, I took a chance and scratched inside her ear. Like Paloma, she loved it, and then she slowly lowered her head and nuzzled my chest. As I walked away thinking that I'd never see her again, I prayed for her. I truly thought Michael (my husband) and Martha (my trainer) would think I was crazy to want to purchase a sick, neglected horse with a medical condition (especially one which would inhibit her weight gain and recovery). But they didn't. They both loved her as much as I did... and they thought she was perfect. Perfect for me.