Scary morning...

The most beautiful sight in the world to me right now is seeing Willow back on her feet....

Michael checked on Willow at midnight, and she seemed the same... up on her feet but she hadn't eaten anything.  Of course, we were worried... but nothing like how I felt to find Willow flat on the ground, eyes half open, and breathing very hard.  We were both very worried since we'd never seen her like that before...

She wouldn't get up, and she refused carrots (which really isn't like her).  I called Martha, both vets, and then tried all my friends who know a lot about horses... but it was before 7am, and no one answered... I felt so helpless and scared.  Could it be colic, laminitis, pneumonia, what?

Thankfully Martha came over quickly... and Willow got up shortly before she arrived.  We are thinking she must have been in a very deep sleep to have such labored breathing and hope that's what it was.  She lays down a lot, and for extended periods of time. But she is healing and still in pain, so she must need that right now.

Dr. Ruggles and Dr. Kimmons do not think her x-rays show founder, but Martha is still concerned this may be the start of laminitis.   Dr. Hawthorne will probably come by later to see her... maybe some accupuncture, etc.

There just isn't anything I wouldn't do for my sweet horse.  She's a fighter, a beauty, and a queen... and probably the smartest horse in the world.  As we stood with Willow, I told Martha that I think a lot about sappy horse movies... you know the kind-  the horse is dying on the barn floor, and people almost give up hope, and then all of a sudden the horse leaps up, shakes her head and everything is better? That is what I want to see happen here...  So, Martha and I prayed together with Willow, and we talked to her.  We talked about wanting her to eat and drink water (as she seemed a bit dehydrated).  And Willow looked at us.  Then she walked over to her hay and had a bite....  then she ate a bit of grain.  Then she splashed and drank some of her water... and then she even licked her mineral salt block, and she looked at us again.... as if to say, "There! And even though you forgot to mention it, I licked some salt too!"   ♥   

Willow.  She is a miracle, I just know it....

Diagnosis...

Martha called today... she said she had just heard some news from Dr. Hawthorne.  Willow tested positive for EPM.  Equine protozoal myeloencephalitis is debilitating disease cause by a protozoal infection of the central nervous system of horses. This would explain Willow's severe muscle loss and atrophy (which was worsened by her neglect) and probably other issues she has as well... maybe even her choking.  She has already started treatment which will last for 3 months.  She will also be supplemented with Vitamin E and Selenium (in addition to everything else we have her on).  The accupuncture and Myofascial therapy should help too.  We are avoiding the most aggressive treatments at this time, simply because Willow is so frail, and her immune system so weak.  Martha, Dr. Hawthorne, and Dr. Kimmons all remain hopeful that Willow can recover from this... that next year, she will be a different horse (to which I always say, I don't want a different horse... just a healthy one). ♥

The good news is, though it appears she has had EPM for a long time, Willow has soft, kind, bright eyes. Miraculously, she isn't spooky or distant like so many affected horses are. Yes, she is a sweetheart, but she is also a fighter... ♥

Dr. Hawthorne's 2nd visit

Dr. Hawthorne came to treat her today.  He gave her an accupuncture treatment to help her liver and kidney functions...  He also sedated her so he could float her teeth.  He and Martha agreed I should not be there but reported that she did great.  "This is a nice mare, Martha," Dr. Hawthorne said with a smile, "They don't get any better than this. "    He said she was a good patient, and like I already knew- a sweet horse. ♥

As Dr. Hawthorne wrote his notes at the desk in Martha's barn, I couldn't help but notice the seemingly haphazard arrangement of items on the desk.... The horse figure and the clock especially.  I wondered about my sweet horse, just a shadow of the beautiful strong Friesian mare she must have been once.   Is she racing against time now?  Or aside from "love and groceries", is time all she needs?  I need to learn to be more patient- I know that.  But as the fear that perhaps she would continue to lose weight crept into my mind, I was reminded that I need to have more faith.  I need to let faith and love conquer my fear.  Patience and faith... I'm going to work on that. ♥

Day 2 (a rough day)

Upon our arrival, we were sad to find out that she didn't eat at all during the night in her stall. She was offered the same hay & food that she loved the day before, but she wouldn't eat. Nor did she drink but 1/4th a bucket of water. This made me cry, as I was so hopeful after Day 1. So we took her out to hand graze so we could bond while she got some sun and ate some grass. She seemed to really love it...

I love the way my husband Michael held his hand on her as they walked... He adores her.

Here I am trying to smile (when I feel like crying) with my pretty girl... I love how gentle and quiet she is.

When we took her back to the barn to groom her, I noticed how gorgeous the barn light was and took this of her. I love how it shows her sweet whiskers. But almost as soon as we got back, she started to struggle to swallow - technically she was choking (although it's not like a person choking and she could still breathe). It was awful... she was struggling so much, straining her neck, saliva coming out her mouth and nose, pawing at the barn floor with her hoof out of frustration. It was so upsetting, and I cried.  Martha was so calm though, and she treated her while she struggled. Martha is not only a wonderful trainer (and friend) but she is a specialist in Equine Myofascial Therapy. I will write more about that later, but what she does is amazing.  She told me not to worry, but to think positively.... she reassured me that her farm is a healing place (not a place to worry).
 

The episode lasted about 40 minutes. I just don't understand why it happened... we knew that if she ate regular grain too fast, it could swell in her throat and cause her to choke... but grazing on grass was supposed to be the safest thing for her? She had surgery up in Lexington two months ago to remove a cyst in her esophagus. We are wondering now if there is scar tissue or what could be causing this. Dr. Hawthorne will be back tomorrow.

Her first day with us ♥

As we walked her past the barn out to graze for a bit, all the geldings lined up at the fence to admirer our pretty girl. It was pretty cute. :)

Dr. Hawthorne is one of the amazing vets that will be caring for my sweet girl. He's quite a character... very charming, southern, a bit funny, and very wise. (He really is the cutest.) As he examined her, he asked me what my intentions were with her... I answered, "Love her...". He liked that and told me that she was a very sick "lil mare". He ordered no training, muscle building or anything until we could get her weight up. He worries for her immune system, as horses in her condition have weakened immune systems and that puts them at risk of contracting EPM (and we don't want that). He said all she really needs now is "love and groceries". ;) Then he sat down with Martha, and they carefully wrote out a plan...

And when  he began to tell me the plan, he started off by saying, "This lil mare has been abused..." My heart stopped for a minute thinking, not only neglected and abandoned but abused too? So I stopped him and asked him if he meant neglect or abuse? His answer: "Darlin, this kind of neglect IS abuse." He is so right.

She loved grazing... she seems to like it here already... but I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at this and not cry... :( We have a plan though... and I know at Martha's farm she is at the right place...