December 22, 2012

Martha cried...

While getting ready to go visit Willow, I got a call from Martha... "Shana, she's choking.  I'm out in the pasture with her...".  So I jumped in the car and headed out there.  My mind and heart were heavy already.... as I had just heard from Nancy (one of Willow's previous owners).  I didn't want Nancy to hear of Willow's EPM diagnosis elsewhere so I had written to inform her.  Upon hearing the news, she wrote back:

"That is what Aileen died of... she was the other mare that was with Leona, Stryder and Veritas. .... Thank God, you have her and are giving her such wonderful care...I just know this will be another hurdle, but your love, prayers and wonderful care will bring her through this. .... I just KNOW Willow is going to be fine...she has endured to much and now her guardian angel has saved her and she will be with you for a good long time. I do thank you for letting me know...God Bless you..."

Aileen?  Another mare?  EPM?  Died?  

Nancy shared the entire story she had heard from her old vet... and then Nancy told me more.   I just pray that God heals Nancy's broken heart.  None of this is her fault...

When I got to Martha's farm, I found her with Willow in her pasture.  She had a damp, white towel on her arm and she was working on Willow's throat...  trying to help her swallow the food she was choking on.  I always have to  remind myself that horses can still breathe when they are choking, and I have to try to make myself calm down because I still get so upset to see Willow struggling.  As Martha worked, I attempted to comfort Willow by rubbing her and telling her softly how much I love her. As she struggled, and coughed grass colored saliva, Martha carefully took the white towel from her right arm and sweetly wiped Willow's nose and mouth.  This touched me so much.  She did this in the same loving way you would wipe your fever stricken child's forehead...  I would have told Martha how much that meant to me (and how it will likely always stay with me) if I could have spoken without crying.  I was trying so hard not to cry for Willow...

Willow & Martha
Willow started feeling better sooner than normal.  I hope that her episodes continue that trend.  But we stayed with her for a while longer, and I told Martha about my conversation with Nancy.  I was still in shock myself, but when Martha heard there had been another starving mare with Willow abandoned at that old farm;  that sadly, she didn't make it... that she had EPM and that she had died before the horses were rescued, Martha looked up at me.  And she cried.

Martha is so strong, and I know it takes a lot to make her cry.  I think she was crying for Willow.  The other mare, Aileen, had probably been Willow's mate.  Martha told me that this may have had a profound impact on Willow...  and that because Willow couldn't speak, who knows the pain and sickness that manifested...  Then I remembered something Martha had told me weeks ago... "We are not bodies with souls.... We are souls with bodies.  Long ago, before Adam and Eve, I believe animals could speak to people...  but then their voices were taken away.  I believe animals go to heaven and that they have souls.  I believe Willow has something to say, and you need to learn to hear her..."   

How I wish I could hear her....


  1. Can I share something please? I have a good connection with source energy and have the following to share :) Horses haven't had their voices "taken away from them". It's a misconception. Talking is actually not as good as communicating the way animals do. Instead of being less than, they are more than. They communicate fully with their feelings, thoughts, pictures and body language. It's better than talking, as words are so limiting. Horses are more balanced than humans, they live in the now and when you do too, they heal quicker as they pick up on our vibrations and that can affect them. The more you talk about her being fine (which she already is, regardless of any outcomes) the better it will be for you all :) She does not suffer as much as you are. I also urge you to look up James French, animal communicator. You will adore his work, he truly is amazing. he can teach you (via online course which is so cheap too!) how to balance yourself and bring your animals back into balance through influence. I know you will love how good it is for you and how much Willow (and others) will adore it too! It will happen very quickly, as animals love to be balanced. Disharmony does not come easily to them. All is well here :)

  2. She found you for a reason. Reading through your stories that much is most definitely true. I don't need to tell you to embrace your time with her -- you've already got that. She's beautiful and so very grateful for your love. ;)

  3. I have loved following your blog. An avid horse person and photographer, it is just the mixture of my two favorite things. Anyway, I had a horse with an EPM diagnosis growing up. Not only did she thrive, but she went on to be a great show horse for young children (small fences as it was harder for her to jump). She was super sweet and lived with the diagnosis for many, many years (ten or so at this point). She is still alive and well, and even had a foal that is now my main show horse.

    Basically, what I'm saying is, you are so full of love and hope and faith. Willow will be amazing in your care. Much love, Jenna.