I'm to touched that Nancy went to visit Willow. They hadn't see each other in five years, and I just know that Willow was comforted to see her again. Nancy has been heartbroken since she learned that the people she sold her Friesians to had neglected them so badly, and Nancy was planning to come to see Willow soon at our place. Nancy is such a lovely person and has been so supportive to me throughout Willow's rescue. As I've written before, she even sent me beautiful photographs and video of Willow (Leona) in her younger days of glory.
Anyway, this is how Nancy describes her visit with Willow (just shortly after her surgery):
To tell you the truth, I thought I would see a broken soul and when I
didn't I was so overjoyed, I hardly cried. Yes, her body has changed
and she has some gray hair over her eyes, but the Queen still lives. I
was so thrilled when she didn't NEED me to comfort her. She recognized
me and we cuddled for a few minutes and then the Queen said, "Don't be
sorry, don't be sad, I AM NOT TO BE PITIED, I AM THE QUEEN! It is
unbelievable to me, this horse has been through so much, and is still
queen of all her domain. I am thrilled beyond words...she is exactly
the same Leona. I know you have given her that strength, when she could
not have gone on...I am forever grateful. ♥
And more from Nancy:
She
is still so thin and fragile looking but the blaze in her eyes and the
queenly attitude are all still there and going strong. Many healthy
Friesians don't make it to age 18, and here is Willow, after all of
life's challenges, and now major surgery and she still hold her head up
high and know she is the Queen. Some one made the comment, "Willow is
lucky to be in the same hospital as Rachel Alexander". Shana and I both
agree, Willow thinks Rachel A is lucky to be in the same hospital as
she. This is truly one of
the most amazing animals I have ever met...she has more heart than one
can even imagine. I am sure that heart has been filled with so much
love, by Shana, and that is why she is still so strong.
It is true... Willow is so stoic, so strong and dignified and so proud. Nancy told me that she cried when she hugged Willow for a while, but then Willow looked at her as if to say, "Okay enough of that. Pull yourself together, I'll be just fine." And then Willow walked over to the other side of her hospital stall to look out the window. Yes, stoic is the perfect word to describe this amazing horse. She is so strong, and I still have so much to learn from her. I'm so happy she will still have the chance to teach me.
Showing posts with label Nancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nancy. Show all posts
February 23, 2013
January 3, 2013
Photos from Willow's Past ♥
This week I was so lucky to receive two packages in the mail... one from Nancy (Willow's first owner), and one from her friend Laura who met Nancy when she bought Willow (Leona) at the Black Horse Valley Ranch one magical summer back in 1998. Both Nancy and Laura had flown all the way to California to choose and purchase their first Friesians. I've heard about that summer from both of them and imagine it to have been glorious and magical... so imagine my surprise when I opened both packages to find VHS tapes of the Keuring (Friesian show) from that trip! I've heard that Nancy knew she wanted Willow (Leona) even before the show. She was told that if she purchased her before the Keuring, she could have her for $25,000 but if she did as well as she was expected to at the Keuring that her price would double. Nancy bought her, and at the Keuring the very next day, Leona was a star... She earned her First Premium and was designated a "Ster" Friesian. One of the handlers from Holland was so taken with her, that he tried to purchase her from Nancy on the spot. Of course Nancy wouldn't part with her... Here are some beautiful photos that Nancy was so sweet to send me, and I hope to get all four VHS tapes transfered to DVD so I can see my sweet girl shine... ♥
Isn't she amazing? This is the first time I've seen Willow under saddle! And I love her mane braided like this... (Photo by Susan McAdoo)
Canter... Look at her!
And I can't believe this one!! This is Willow (Leona) with her filly!! This one, in particular, made me cry!! (Photo by Dana Adam)
These photos are so precious to me... I am forever grateful to Nancy, Laura, Dana, and Hayley for sharing photos from Willow's past with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ♥
These photos are so precious to me... I am forever grateful to Nancy, Laura, Dana, and Hayley for sharing photos from Willow's past with me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. ♥
December 28, 2012
I believe in miracles...
I am documenting this story for me and for Willow... My hope is that what I gain from journaling my thoughts will help me learn and grow and heal... and in doing that, I will be better for Willow. I long to be less fearful, more positive, more patient, more faithful, more trusting, and more present. I know that is best for her... as I am understanding more and more how sensitive and connected horses really are. I know I have a lot to learn about horses. I admit that I am not perfect, so sometimes along the way I might get discouraged (like I was yesterday). I know, though, to try not to internalize or share those feelings with Willow. I talk to her in a sweet, upbeat voice... I call her "Pretty Girl" or "Beauty" and my love for her is so strong, that I know she can feel it. And when I am feeling discouraged, I know who to turn to to life my spirits. The emails, letters, and comments I've received have been so encouraging and supportive... they lift me up too. Thank you so much for every single one...
I shared my feelings with Martha, Nancy (Willow's 1st owner), and Leah (who first rescued Willow)... and I was amazed at how beautiful and similar their responses were:
From Leah:
"Hey Shana, don't fret, everything will be okay. There's a huge difference between what usually happens and what happens when there's a miracle going on. Too much of this story points to the latter. Have faith, it WILL work for the best. And that's what I believe"
From Martha:
"This is a place of hope and healing. God has put people and horses in my life for a reason, and He has opened my eyes to see what they really need. I have rehabbed horses that even the vets had given up on. God has brought them to me and this farm. Miracles do happen, and I truly believe Willow is going to be well..."
From Nancy:
"I do know what you mean dear friend. But I believe in miracles. Perhaps the Lord will not see fit to make Willow whole until she joins Him in heaven. BUT, perhaps in SPITE of the choices evil people made for her and because of the love of one good person that came to save her, He will make her whole while still on earth. There is only one thing I KNOW for CERTAIN and that is an angel came to save her and to love and care for her. Shana she knows the depth of your love....she can sense it with all her queenly being. You are the love of her life, even if her life is not going to be totally well. Her life is GOOD...because of YOU! I literally would give my own life to make her well. I feel so bad I ever sold her. But, all I can do is love her from afar.... YOU are her love, her life, her very being. You are the dearest of the dear and I so wish none of this has caused you pain.I stand beside you Shana in anyway I can. Sending you love and hugs, Nancy
And there have been so many beautiful comments that have touched my heart - here are just a couple...
From Eden:
"I have been where you are. The fear of what you'll find at the barn- the insecurity of not knowing if you'll know how to fix her...I know how hard it is. Take comfort in knowing that you've already saved her- if you lose her tomorrow...you saved her. You'll be in my prayers."
From Michelle:
"Thank you for sharing your story of Willow. The two of you are magic and you inspire me - Willow's courage and your devotion to her. Choose each moment you have together to be filled with love. If you are blessed with minutes, days or years make the most of them. She is a gift, her life full of lessons and her love pure ... bath yourself in her love. She is a gift from God and I would trust in a plan far greater than yourself."
Thank you, thank you all so much for warming my heart and renewing my faith.... I know I can do this. I can believe in this miracle. Afterall, it's happening before my eyes...
I shared my feelings with Martha, Nancy (Willow's 1st owner), and Leah (who first rescued Willow)... and I was amazed at how beautiful and similar their responses were:
From Leah:
"Hey Shana, don't fret, everything will be okay. There's a huge difference between what usually happens and what happens when there's a miracle going on. Too much of this story points to the latter. Have faith, it WILL work for the best. And that's what I believe"
From Martha:
"This is a place of hope and healing. God has put people and horses in my life for a reason, and He has opened my eyes to see what they really need. I have rehabbed horses that even the vets had given up on. God has brought them to me and this farm. Miracles do happen, and I truly believe Willow is going to be well..."
From Nancy:
"I do know what you mean dear friend. But I believe in miracles. Perhaps the Lord will not see fit to make Willow whole until she joins Him in heaven. BUT, perhaps in SPITE of the choices evil people made for her and because of the love of one good person that came to save her, He will make her whole while still on earth. There is only one thing I KNOW for CERTAIN and that is an angel came to save her and to love and care for her. Shana she knows the depth of your love....she can sense it with all her queenly being. You are the love of her life, even if her life is not going to be totally well. Her life is GOOD...because of YOU! I literally would give my own life to make her well. I feel so bad I ever sold her. But, all I can do is love her from afar.... YOU are her love, her life, her very being. You are the dearest of the dear and I so wish none of this has caused you pain.I stand beside you Shana in anyway I can. Sending you love and hugs, Nancy
And there have been so many beautiful comments that have touched my heart - here are just a couple...
From Eden:
"I have been where you are. The fear of what you'll find at the barn- the insecurity of not knowing if you'll know how to fix her...I know how hard it is. Take comfort in knowing that you've already saved her- if you lose her tomorrow...you saved her. You'll be in my prayers."
From Michelle:
"Thank you for sharing your story of Willow. The two of you are magic and you inspire me - Willow's courage and your devotion to her. Choose each moment you have together to be filled with love. If you are blessed with minutes, days or years make the most of them. She is a gift, her life full of lessons and her love pure ... bath yourself in her love. She is a gift from God and I would trust in a plan far greater than yourself."
Thank you, thank you all so much for warming my heart and renewing my faith.... I know I can do this. I can believe in this miracle. Afterall, it's happening before my eyes...
December 22, 2012
Martha cried...
While getting ready to go visit Willow, I got a call from Martha... "Shana, she's choking. I'm out in the pasture with her...". So I jumped in the car and headed out there. My mind and heart were heavy already.... as I had just heard from Nancy (one of Willow's previous owners). I didn't want Nancy to hear of Willow's EPM diagnosis elsewhere so I had written to inform her. Upon hearing the news, she wrote back:
"That is what Aileen died of... she was the other mare that was with Leona, Stryder and Veritas. .... Thank God, you have her and are giving her such wonderful care...I just know this will be another hurdle, but your love, prayers and wonderful care will bring her through this. .... I just KNOW Willow is going to be fine...she has endured to much and now her guardian angel has saved her and she will be with you for a good long time. I do thank you for letting me know...God Bless you..."
Aileen? Another mare? EPM? Died?
Nancy shared the entire story she had heard from her old vet... and then Nancy told me more. I just pray that God heals Nancy's broken heart. None of this is her fault...
When I got to Martha's farm, I found her with Willow in her pasture. She had a damp, white towel on her arm and she was working on Willow's throat... trying to help her swallow the food she was choking on. I always have to remind myself that horses can still breathe when they are choking, and I have to try to make myself calm down because I still get so upset to see Willow struggling. As Martha worked, I attempted to comfort Willow by rubbing her and telling her softly how much I love her. As she struggled, and coughed grass colored saliva, Martha carefully took the white towel from her right arm and sweetly wiped Willow's nose and mouth. This touched me so much. She did this in the same loving way you would wipe your fever stricken child's forehead... I would have told Martha how much that meant to me (and how it will likely always stay with me) if I could have spoken without crying. I was trying so hard not to cry for Willow...
Willow started feeling better sooner than normal. I hope that her episodes continue that trend. But we stayed with her for a while longer, and I told Martha about my conversation with Nancy. I was still in shock myself, but when Martha heard there had been another starving mare with Willow abandoned at that old farm; that sadly, she didn't make it... that she had EPM and that she had died before the horses were rescued, Martha looked up at me. And she cried.
Martha is so strong, and I know it takes a lot to make her cry. I think she was crying for Willow. The other mare, Aileen, had probably been Willow's mate. Martha told me that this may have had a profound impact on Willow... and that because Willow couldn't speak, who knows the pain and sickness that manifested... Then I remembered something Martha had told me weeks ago... "We are not bodies with souls.... We are souls with bodies. Long ago, before Adam and Eve, I believe animals could speak to people... but then their voices were taken away. I believe animals go to heaven and that they have souls. I believe Willow has something to say, and you need to learn to hear her..."
How I wish I could hear her....
"That is what Aileen died of... she was the other mare that was with Leona, Stryder and Veritas. .... Thank God, you have her and are giving her such wonderful care...I just know this will be another hurdle, but your love, prayers and wonderful care will bring her through this. .... I just KNOW Willow is going to be fine...she has endured to much and now her guardian angel has saved her and she will be with you for a good long time. I do thank you for letting me know...God Bless you..."
Aileen? Another mare? EPM? Died?
Nancy shared the entire story she had heard from her old vet... and then Nancy told me more. I just pray that God heals Nancy's broken heart. None of this is her fault...
When I got to Martha's farm, I found her with Willow in her pasture. She had a damp, white towel on her arm and she was working on Willow's throat... trying to help her swallow the food she was choking on. I always have to remind myself that horses can still breathe when they are choking, and I have to try to make myself calm down because I still get so upset to see Willow struggling. As Martha worked, I attempted to comfort Willow by rubbing her and telling her softly how much I love her. As she struggled, and coughed grass colored saliva, Martha carefully took the white towel from her right arm and sweetly wiped Willow's nose and mouth. This touched me so much. She did this in the same loving way you would wipe your fever stricken child's forehead... I would have told Martha how much that meant to me (and how it will likely always stay with me) if I could have spoken without crying. I was trying so hard not to cry for Willow...
 | |
| Willow & Martha |
Martha is so strong, and I know it takes a lot to make her cry. I think she was crying for Willow. The other mare, Aileen, had probably been Willow's mate. Martha told me that this may have had a profound impact on Willow... and that because Willow couldn't speak, who knows the pain and sickness that manifested... Then I remembered something Martha had told me weeks ago... "We are not bodies with souls.... We are souls with bodies. Long ago, before Adam and Eve, I believe animals could speak to people... but then their voices were taken away. I believe animals go to heaven and that they have souls. I believe Willow has something to say, and you need to learn to hear her..."
How I wish I could hear her....
More from Willow's Past
Today I heard from Dana Adams... yet another person who knew Willow long ago.... her words brought me to tears:
"Shana, Leona (Willow) is a one of a
kind....her beauty knows no bounds. I was horrified, heartsick, and
angry beyond words when Nancy (I call her "Mom" even though she isn't
really my mother she has treated me way better than the real thing) told
me about the horses. I have worked with her and all her horses since
she had Paints. Each and every horse to ever set foot on that farm was
loved unconditionally. Leona was always especially so....she and Nanco
were always my favorite photo subjects. I am so so happy she has you for
a mom now, I just don't understand how anyone could hurt any of them
(or really what kind of sick person hurts any animal really) but they
especially have always been such sweet souls. And yes I meant what I
said that woman had better never let me find her, she better pray the
authorities find her first because I won't be so kind.
Shana thank you for taking care of her. I haven't had the courage to look at your site, my friend who also knew her, looked at it and told me about the details and what you had done for her. She didn't think I should see the photos of her quite yet either, but I will go through my old photos and find what I can for you. I did see her photo when I went to your FB page I did not click on her shot of the two of you fully, though I did see it. The photo of you two together brought tears to my eyes. But that is the beautiful face and soulful eye I always loved! The one of you hugging her neck is gorgeous as well. I would know that head, eye and ear anywhere!
Again Thanks so much! God Bless and Merry Christmas!
PS...she LOVES peppermints.... "
I love to hear that others can see in her what I do... her sweetness, her beauty, her soulfulness... and of course, I had already figured out that Willow loved peppermings (shhh... don't tell Martha)! ♥
Shana thank you for taking care of her. I haven't had the courage to look at your site, my friend who also knew her, looked at it and told me about the details and what you had done for her. She didn't think I should see the photos of her quite yet either, but I will go through my old photos and find what I can for you. I did see her photo when I went to your FB page I did not click on her shot of the two of you fully, though I did see it. The photo of you two together brought tears to my eyes. But that is the beautiful face and soulful eye I always loved! The one of you hugging her neck is gorgeous as well. I would know that head, eye and ear anywhere!
Again Thanks so much! God Bless and Merry Christmas!
PS...she LOVES peppermints.... "
I love to hear that others can see in her what I do... her sweetness, her beauty, her soulfulness... and of course, I had already figured out that Willow loved peppermings (shhh... don't tell Martha)! ♥
December 20, 2012
A Story from Willow's past ♥
Another surprise today... I got a message from one of Nancy's friends (Laura). Laura was actually with Nancy when she purchased Willow (Leona C) from Black Horse Valley Ranch in California in 1998. Here is what she wrote to me:
Dear Shana,
When I met Willow in 1998 in CA, it was during the Keuring, or judging, time. She was so beautiful and sweet, also a bit of a diva, so proud. She was stunning in her Keuring, with her flowing mane and wonderful gaits, and she got the highest rating, 1st Premium Ster. We met her sire, Lukas 324, an especially sweet stallion. Nancy and I bonded that weekend, and have been best friends ever since, even though we live far apart. We exchange a lot of horse stories and one of my favorites is the one of Willow and the clicker training. Friesians, are very expressive and tend to use their feet, (pawing) a lot, when they want something. Nancy had a friend who was a big clicker training fan, and said she could get Willow to stop pawing when tied in the aisle way. Nancy, smiling to herself, said to go ahead and try. So the friend had some treats ready, and when Willow stopped pawing for a moment, clicked the clicker, said "Good girl" and treated her. This went on for a couple of times and the friend thought she was really "training" Willow. But Willow was training the friend!! She would paw, then pause, and get her treat! When the friend turned to leave, Willow pawed really hard, paused when the friend turned to look at her, like "Well, where's the treat? !!
I hope this little story and the visual it can conjure up, gives you a little smile today. I'm so glad you have her and are giving her a chance. You're a beautiful person inside and out and your love will nurture beautiful Velvet Willow. I also hope your little girl is doing better today.
Laura
Is that not the cutest story? Well of course it made me smile, and laugh, and cry... because it is so her. She still paws at the ground like that (though mostly out of frustration when she is struggling to swallow or choking)... but it helps so much to have that visual. Sweet Laura also offered to send me a VHS tape of Leona at one of her Keuring shows! I will have it made into a DVD so Nancy, Laura and I can all have a copy... I can't wait!! (Thank you Laura!) ♥
Dear Shana,
When I met Willow in 1998 in CA, it was during the Keuring, or judging, time. She was so beautiful and sweet, also a bit of a diva, so proud. She was stunning in her Keuring, with her flowing mane and wonderful gaits, and she got the highest rating, 1st Premium Ster. We met her sire, Lukas 324, an especially sweet stallion. Nancy and I bonded that weekend, and have been best friends ever since, even though we live far apart. We exchange a lot of horse stories and one of my favorites is the one of Willow and the clicker training. Friesians, are very expressive and tend to use their feet, (pawing) a lot, when they want something. Nancy had a friend who was a big clicker training fan, and said she could get Willow to stop pawing when tied in the aisle way. Nancy, smiling to herself, said to go ahead and try. So the friend had some treats ready, and when Willow stopped pawing for a moment, clicked the clicker, said "Good girl" and treated her. This went on for a couple of times and the friend thought she was really "training" Willow. But Willow was training the friend!! She would paw, then pause, and get her treat! When the friend turned to leave, Willow pawed really hard, paused when the friend turned to look at her, like "Well, where's the treat? !!
I hope this little story and the visual it can conjure up, gives you a little smile today. I'm so glad you have her and are giving her a chance. You're a beautiful person inside and out and your love will nurture beautiful Velvet Willow. I also hope your little girl is doing better today.
Laura
Is that not the cutest story? Well of course it made me smile, and laugh, and cry... because it is so her. She still paws at the ground like that (though mostly out of frustration when she is struggling to swallow or choking)... but it helps so much to have that visual. Sweet Laura also offered to send me a VHS tape of Leona at one of her Keuring shows! I will have it made into a DVD so Nancy, Laura and I can all have a copy... I can't wait!! (Thank you Laura!) ♥
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